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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23407585">Please, shut up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchforWitches/pseuds/WatchforWitches'>WatchforWitches</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Requited Unrequited Love, Writer Magnus Bane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:28:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,305</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23407585</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchforWitches/pseuds/WatchforWitches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I'd want him to be happy, to have everything that he's ever wanted because he's worked so hard and he deserves it.</p>
<p>"And you still say you aren't in love with him." </p>
<p>OR </p>
<p>These boys figure out their feelings are the furthest thing from platonic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>143</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Please, shut up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey all, hope everyone is doing well. I've had a few fic requests I am working on, as well as my main big fic, but what started as a small scene tumbled into a whole fic, hence the start being less structed. I hope you enjoy and hope everyone is staying safe out there!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Alec you're seriously an idiot," Isabelle rolls her eyes like she's getting paid to do it.</p>
<p>Alec scoffs unbelievingly at her, "Iz, if anyone's an idiot it's you. Magnus and I are just friends okay? Why can't you just accept that." </p>
<p>"Because," Izzy rolls her eyes again, "Apparently you need someone  to spell it out for you." </p>
<p>"I'm not in love with him!" Alec yells now, flinging his arms out like its the most ridiculous argument he's ever been apart of. </p>
<p>"If you died," Izzy says then, calm but still fierce, "If you got shot on duty in the future, or a bus was going to run you over tonight, or somehow the exam you have next week actually killed you, what would you say to him? If you knew you were going to die, what would you want him to know?" </p>
<p>"What?" Alec demands, head spinning at Izzy's words.</p>
<p>"Humor me," she asks calmly, arms falling to her sides.</p>
<p>"I- I don't know," Alec drops himself into his desk chair and thinks. "I'd want him to remember me, but not to be too sad for too long. I'd want him to wear something spectacular to my funeral just because it would help him. I'd want him to get his degree and get published and be rich enough to afford the loft in New York he's always dreamed of. I'd want him to be happy, to have everything that he's ever wanted because he's worked so hard and he deserves it." </p>
<p>Izzy levels him with a look and shakes her head, "And you <em>still</em> say you aren't in love with him." </p>
<p>She leaves the room before Alec has a chance to respond, leaving him with his mouth open ready to respond, and a million questions in his head. </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Magnus was heading down the hall leading to Alec's room. He comes over to the Lightwood siblings apartment enough to walk it blind. He needed the notes from one of the psych classes he missed a few weeks back, and Alec told him just to swing by whenever he wanted. He strode with a confident familiarity down the hallway before he heard Alec talking to someone, and slowed  to a stop. Eavesdropping on a conversation not meant for him, he supposed, but he and Alec were close enough that nothing was really a secret between them.</p>
<p>"-want him to get his degree and get published and be rich enough to afford the loft in New York he's always dreamed of. I'd want him to be happy, to have everything that he's ever wanted because he's worked so hard and he deserves it."</p>
<p>Magnus' non guilt towards eavesdropping came crashing down very quickly, taking his breath with him. What was he talking about? And why did it sound like he was talking about Magnus? </p>
<p>"And you still say you aren't in love with him." Isabelle's unmistakable voice fills his ears. </p>
<p>If Magnus couldn't breath before he is most definitely breathless now. Was Alec in love with him? Was it Magnus they were talking about? Did Alec return the feelings that had been slowly creeping up on Magnus for a year now? </p>
<p>He heard Izzy's heels approaching and quickly ducked into the bathroom next to him, hiding himself behind the wall as he listened to her leave the apartment. He heard a faint huffed sigh, and looked at himself in the mirror. What was happening? Was he dreaming? He'd seen a trick once, that if you were in a dream you couldn't read. He grabbed a bottle of toothpaste, and felt a conflicting amount of emotions when he could clearly make out the <em>Colgate </em>written across it. </p>
<p>He wasn't dreaming. That was a real conversation he'd just heard, that he may have been the subject of. </p>
<p>Breath Bane, he forced himself to take a breath in the mirror, even if he does feel something for you, Alec's had his whole college life carefully planned for forever. And a committed relationship with his best friend wasn't on the list. And Magnus couldn't be just a hookup, could never just hookup with Alec. He'd been drunk enough a few times to consider it, long before he accepted that what he felt for his friend went way beyond the physical. </p>
<p>Before he accepted he was in love with his best friend.</p>
<p>He was in love with his best friend. He was in love with Alec. <em>Oh God</em>, he was in love with Alec and he'd just heard the tail end of some speech about who he hoped was him. Okay Bane, focus, just ignore it, pretend it never happened, buisness as usual. </p>
<p>Right. </p>
<p>He took a final breath, and exited the bathroom. And straight into Alec. "Hmph," Alec startled, stumbling back a step. "Magnus? What are you doing here?" </p>
<p>"The uh, um, the notes! The notes for psych, I just swung by to grab them like you said. Sorry, I just thought I had a leaf in my hair from the walk over, just wanted to check." </p>
<p>Alec gave him a look, a look that said he believed him but that Magnus was being weird. "Okay," Alec dragged the word out, and nodded. "How long have you been in there?" He asked, voice a little nervous. </p>
<p><em>So he was talking about me</em> Magnus thought triumphantly. "Oh I just got here," Magnus told him with a bright smile, "I actually ran into Izzy on my way in. She said she was going to meet Clary for coffee or something I don't know." </p>
<p>"Yeah," Alec composed himself at the answer, "Yeah she is. Uhh, come on I'll grab the notes for you." </p>
<p>Magnus followed Alec to his room for the notes, and tried to get his heartbeat under control. </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Magnus, Alec decided, was acting weird. Weirder than usual. </p>
<p>He kept fluctuating between barely talking or looking at Alec, to being completely normal. Alec has no idea why, but he clearly did something to upset Magnus, and was determined to figure out what it was, and fix it. </p>
<p>They were having a movie night with their whole friend group tonight, so it had to be aired out before then. </p>
<p>He decided to just text him and go from there. </p>
<p><em>You coming to movie nite?</em><br/>
       <br/>
<strong>Yeah ofc, why? </strong></p>
<p><em>Any chance you can come over like 30 minutes earlier?</em><br/>
       <br/>
<strong>Sure. Everything okay?</strong></p>
<p><em>Yeah, I just want help setting up the living room and stuff.</em><br/>
      <br/>
<strong>Oh, okay yeah no problem</strong>.</p>
<p>Magnus showed up 45 minutes early, and was dressed a lot nicer than a night spent on the couch called for. Alec's jaw didn't drop, but it was a near thing. He was in tight ripped black jeans, a sheer golden yellow top that flared out from where it was tucked into his pants, and had matched his eyeliner to his shirt. He looked fantastic, but it was a far cry from the sweatpants and tshirt combo Alec was sporting. </p>
<p>"Hey," Magnus said, walking in and toeing off his shoes like everything was normal. </p>
<p>"Hey," Alec said, trying to keep his voice under control, "Thanks for coming." </p>
<p>"Yeah no worries, so what did you want to move around?" Magnus asked, twirling around to face Alec. </p>
<p>"I have a bunch of blankets in my room I wanted to carry out first," Alec said. He felt bad for the white lie, but he did really have blankets for movie night in his room so he tried not to feel too bad. </p>
<p>"Perfect," Magnus replied easily, following Alec in step down the hall to his room. </p>
<p>Once they were actually in his room, Alec took an breath and just spat it out. "Magnus did I do something to upset you?" </p>
<p>Magnus' head snapped up to look at Alec, and he turned so he was standing in front of him. "No of course not," Magnus said in a rush, "Why would you think that?" </p>
<p>"I just feel like you've been acting strange around me this week. Like we'll just be all hanging out like normal but then you get this look on your face like you're remembering something and you act all distant and aloof towards me. I just wanted to apologize one on one because I don't know what I did but I'd never do anything to upset you on purpose." </p>
<p>Magnus squeezed his eyes closed and sighed at this. Alec's stomach twisted because he was right. "So I did do something."</p>
<p>Magnus shooks his head quickly, "No, no you didn't." He assured him quickly. "I swear you didn't." </p>
<p>"Then what-" </p>
<p>"Did you mean those things you said to Izzy last week? Were you talking about me? Was that about me?" </p>
<p>Alec's eyebrows dip with confusion. "When I was talking to Izzy last wee-" then his eyes go wide, remembering exactly what Magnus is asking about. "Oh," he says softly, "Yeah that. No Iz just asked me some question because she was trying to prove something to herself, I don't know." </p>
<p>"What'd she ask?" Magnus said, stomach dropping quickly with the thought that he'd gotten it all wrong, that Alec didn't feel the same. </p>
<p>Alec closed his eyes and took a breath, "She asked me that uh, if I died, like if I died tomorrow or sometime soon, what I would want to say to you." </p>
<p>"What was she trying to prove?" Magnus asked, voice going low, and throat thick with tears threatening to fall. </p>
<p>"Nothing it was just something stupid," Alec shook it off. </p>
<p>"Alec," Magnus said simply, "Please." </p>
<p>"She was trying to prove that I was in love with you okay!" Alec burst out, words spilling from his mouth then. "And I thought it was dumb because no way she was right, she couldn't be right. We were just best friends. But then I got to thinking about it, more and more, and I thought about it in reverse too. I thought what you would say to me if you were going to die, but then I spiraled because the thought of you dying and not being here- even just hypothetically- was too much for me. And I kept thinking about it, and about how I feel, how I have felt, and I just, I just," Alec looks at Magnus then, eyes fierce, but his hands trembling at his sides, "I just knew that she was right. And that she couldn't be right because you don't feel like that and I was so determined to just keep it inside, keep it this small thing. And then you were weird around me this week and I felt terrible and I knew even more then that I couldn't say anything, or do anything. Because I can't not have what we have now and I just wished that Izzy would have never-" </p>
<p>Magnus kisses him. Its fast and too hard and it's not nearly anything like what he ever fantasized their first kiss as. But it shut Alec up, which was what it needed to do in that moment. </p>
<p>"Shut up," Magnus shooks his head, "Alexander just stop talking. Please. You're not going to lose me. You could never. I feel the same. Alec I fell for you the moment I met you and you made that stupid joke in crimnology class. And when you got in an argument with that guy in English- which you took as your elective just because I was- and you argued with him about queer literature and basically came out to the whole lecture of people. And when you got me that pendant for my birthday because you saw how much I wanted it when we went to that thrift store that one day. Alexander I've been falling in love with you for years. So please, shut up." </p>
<p>Alec looked at him, eyes lined with unshed tears, and face alight. "Are you serious?" </p>
<p>"Yes," Magnus said, voice thick and choked up, "Yes Alec I'm serious." </p>
<p>"Oh my god," Alec breathed. </p>
<p>He pulled Magnus into a hug then. The kind of hug Magnus admitted was his favorite Alec hug when he was drunk one night. The kind where Alec wraps his whole arms around Magnus' shoulders and just envelopes him in it. He pulls back and moves his hands to Magnus' jaw and kisses him. </p>
<p>This, Magnus thinks, is exactly what he fantasized their first kiss to be. It was chaste enough to not be a makeout session, but it was still deep and passionate. It was 3 years of unknowingly requited feelings being manifested. It was Alec's fingers at the back of his head, running over the short shaved hair there. It was Magnus moving his hands to Alec's hips, pulling him impossibly close. </p>
<p>When they pull away, because unfortunately the human body needs oxygen, they stare at eachother with the same joyous wonder. "Magnus I love you," Alec says. </p>
<p>"I love you too," Magnus replies easily, because of course it's easy to love Alec. He's had 3 years of practice. </p>
<p>"Izzy is going to be so smug about this," Alec sighs, rolling his eyes. </p>
<p>Magnus laughs then, and looks at his phone for the time. "Well, everyone isn't going to get here for another 20 minutes. Nobody has to know tonight." </p>
<p>Alec smiles at this, clearly thinking on the same page as Magnus. "You know, you are absolutely right." </p>
<p>Magnus smiles and nods, "I am a sage old man," he jokes, "Now, lets actually set everything up." </p>
<p>"In a second," Alec agrees, "There's this guy I really want to kiss first." </p>
<p>Magnus raises an eyebrow at this, "Oh? Well, who am I to stand in the way of a little romance?" </p>
<p>Alec grins and leans in to kiss him again.</p>
<p>And if they hold hands behind the couch as everyone watches the movies, arms stretched out faux casually, then their friends are none the wiser. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments/Kudos/Feedback/Fic Requests are all welcome below! I hope you enjoyed, thank you for reading! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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